Added: Ravin Piatt - Date: 04.02.2022 12:40 - Views: 26923 - Clicks: 5101
Insecurities can really undermine the foundation of any romantic relationship and can really cause some damage. Someone came to me with a very important question not too long ago and they wanted to know about what exactly you can do if your boyfriend or husband is the one that is insecure in the relationship. This is such an interesting topic and very many people come to me with questions about it, so I wanted to take some time today to write this article for you.
Marlena came to me with this issue a few weeks back. She had been dating this man, Ray, for about eight months and she started to pick up the fact that he seemed to need quite a bit of reassurance from her. She was a bit caught off guard because at the beginning of the relationship, he was so charismatic, he had so many interesting things going on, and of course, these were just some of the things that drew her to him!
She started to feel suffocated and frustrated by his behavior, and tensions began to rise between them. Then we began to work together, and I began sharing some tools with her on how she can start to make him feel more secure in the relationship.
The problem was that the more he pined for her attention and showed her that he was insecure, the more she would pull away. The more she would pull away, the more he would pine for her attention and show s of insecurityso they started to go into a downward spiral. The more she began being empathetic towards the way he was feeling, the easier it began to be for her to do things that little by little are starting to help him feel more confident in love.
Does he compare himself to the other people that you spend time with and make it clear that he feels inferior or threatened? It actually all boils down to a profound fear of getting hurt by someone they love. Did you break his trust, or did someone else in a past relationship?
Did something happen in his life that made him lose confidence in himself? How much of his insecurity are you responsible for? A lot of people get frustrated with insecure partners and end up getting angry and having a fit, which actually just makes their partner that much more insecure. He needs to be able to bring happiness into his own life, otherwise the relationship will start to become imbalanced. For example, if he happens to be a great breakdancer, he can start taking dance classes and have all kinds of fun doing something he loves and is good at.
It puts you in a very different mindset and makes you feel much better about yourself and your life.
This goes hand in hand with my point. So he needs to be able to challenge himself and step outside of his comfort zone. The more he can do this, the happier he will feel and the more attractive he will be to you. He could even start by making a bucket list for himself!
If you want to dive deeper into how to overcome a lack of self confidence, I encourage you to check out our product on getting rid of insecurity once and for all!
You can access it by clicking here. He also needs to work on overcoming insecurity on his own, which he can do by working on becoming more independent and proud of what he brings to the table! This can change if both of you are willing to make an effort. Sometimes people really struggle because of something that happened to them in the past, but as time goes on and they have new experiences, the good experiences start to outweigh the bad, and their insecurities start to fade away.
So remember, we are here to help you every step of the way so if you need help showing your partner that he has no reason to worry so that you can bring more lightness and balance to your relationship, all you have to do is. the Happily Committed Project and transform your relationship in a meaningful and dignified way! Please feel free to also leave any questions you might have in the comments section below and it would be our pleasure to get back to you.
Please tell me what I need to do.
I moved to another state and changed my life for him. I have no family here and I need to know what I need to do.
It sounds like your partner is taking you for granted and there needs to be a shift in the dynamic between you. Work on your independence and your sense of self confidence by getting physically active, meeting new people, exploring new places in your new city, and stepping outside of your comfort zone. A man will always want to pursue and woo a woman that takes him off of that pedestal and lives a life that is fulfilling. Hi Sandra, it seems that there may be a communication issue. I recommend reading this article that should help!
We had a fight so I ask him for sometime on my own but he called me the whole night asking me what is wrong even if I told tell him nothing. Hi Sharalee, it sounds like you need to define boundaries in the relationship, and this is especially important in the beginning phase of the relationship.
Be careful with what you allow from this man because it is in essence laying out the foundation for how this relationship will develop. I just moved 10 and a half hours away a couple months ago, left my family and everything I knew for my boyfriend. Hi Maria, I encourage you to read this article on how to build trust in a relationship! We still argue about things I did back in yet it has nothing to do with infidelity. Hi Luna, I encourage you to reach out to us for one on one coaching so that we can study your relationship and give you a tailormade action plan.
To work with us, just. I am in a long distance relationship with a man I met last year. Now I told him going into this that I never been in a long distance relationship before. He assured me that he is real and true, so I believed him and got into a relationship. He was so sweet, charming, long, caring, thoughtful, respectful, delightful, and many more great characteristics he has. He posted me everywhere on his social medias and he just made me feel really special and wanted.
I always tell him how much he means to me, how much I love him, I support him, and believe in him and his dreams to being the best captain he wants to be.
Earlier on in the relationship I had two very close male friends who I no longer am friends with anymore because my relationship is more important to me than anything else. I find myself crying and I feel defeated, I question myself and try to be careful of anything I say or do. Anytime we get into a fight and he starts one of his episodes, I let him know how he has made me feel and to try to understand his actions.
He always claims he understands and apologizes and blames his ex for the cause of his actions. I told him that this is a new relationship and I am not his ex. It has been a year and a half and nothing has changed! He has apologized so many times and claims he will change but he ends up going right back to his old self. What I told him about my male coworker was that he works in my area. I let him now I work around men this time and he is having a fit. Even before my new job he was always accusing and I understand his ex hurt him deeply but why do I have to suffer for her mistakes?
And this is exactly what I told him and all he did was apologize.
He watches my social media s and go through my likes. One day we got into a fight and he decided that he wanted to go out on a yacht and he allowed a woman to take his phone and follow him on her social media s. I told him I would never do anything like that to him but yet he accuses me everyday. His excuse for that was he was just talking g to her about sailing which is not a big deal but he gets mad if I when speak to anyone or say anything. Hi Mulan, I know how draining it can be to be in a relationship with someone who does not trust you.
The solution lies in communication, and I encourage you to read this article. I highly recommend reaching out to us for coaching so that we can study your situation and create a plan of action that will give you the you are looking for. Hi, I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years. And I know he is insecure And has had a bad past relationship with they cheating on him.
Hi Cynthia, I would suggest telling him that the more he trusts you, the easier it is for you to be yourself. The more you can be yourself, the more this relationship can develop. Over time, you will see that the foundation will start to strengthen and it will put his mind at ease. You can also gently bring his attention to the fact that in the past two years, you have not done anything to test his trust.
Hi Natalie, your wellbeing is of paramount importance. If it is suffering this much because of your relationship, you will need to ask yourself some uncomfortable questions potentially turning the and moving on from this marriage. It is very hard, but sometimes the most difficult decisions open the most wonderful doors. Good day!! So this has been going on for a while… My boyfriend and I are two months together….
And he really struggles to believe me when I am genuinely telling him the full honest truth…I think it may be his past relationships that changed his mindset to where it is now. For example, we would go out over the weekends with friends and then he likes to think that if he leaves me for a second alone that he sees me talking to other guys and flirting, when the truth is, I AM NOT! I can see he is very insecure, but I really try to be understanding towards why he feels this way, but he can over exaggerate a lot!!!!
Please help. Hi Kristin, I understand that this can be a very frustrating situation. Since this incident i have been feeling sort of insecure for everything and i dont know if i should speak to her about this please help? Ever since then our relationship has a lot of tension. He fears if I would retaliate and hurt him back because of what he did to me but I felt like his reasoning was because he assumed I was going behind his back. This was a great read.
Currently, I am in a similar situation with my insecure man, but we are in a long distance relationship. I think he has unrealistic expectations about how often we can reasonably visit each other due to the distance, but he views my realism as me not trying or me giving up. My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 4 years. We just had a fight about introducing a vibrator into sex. He is very insecure about his size, which I have known for a long time, and said that a vibrator makes him feel inadequate. We started talking about spicing things up and trying new things, and when I brought up a vibrator, he said that he has been wanting to spice things up for months but I never want to have sex or try new things, and after months of this, the first thing I do is bring up a vibrator.
Any guidance or insight would be greatly appreciated. We have the best relationship all the good stuff, but we lack in desire for him to do stuff for me as far as gifts, flowers, for him to spoil me. He was able to do it with rest of his girlfriends that meant nothing to him as much as I do. We moved 2 hours away from everyone to give our kids a better life. Now he has told me that I have to figure out something about him that only 2 other people have told him in his life.
I did some research do to his past relationships that I have listened they were not good to him.Why is my boyfriend so insecure
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Overcome insecurities in a relationship