Added: Joshuwa Fredette - Date: 20.04.2022 07:21 - Views: 38113 - Clicks: 870
When Mariam Mokhtar, 21, started taking karate classes for fun with her little brothers, she expected to get exercise and learn self-defense, not to meet her future husband.
Mokhtar and Rai Shaw were both in high school at the time, and they became friends through the class. And then yeah, things just developed from there. Western media and even Bollywood portray romance one way, but Muslim American couples and chaplains say the way they often meet, fall in love and eventually decide to get married are usually misunderstood or not told at all. That made it hard for Mokhtar to be sure of what she wanted. Though she loved him too, they were so young and still had college ahead of them.
So they waited, stayed friends, and eventually the time was right. The two got married last summer in an intimate ceremony with just the couple and their immediate family.
Four years of waiting came to a head during a pandemic. But Mokhtar could not be happier. Growing up, she felt everyone around her had different ideas about what partnership and marriage were supposed to look like. Though the community is not a monolith — Muslims span cultures, races, ethnicities, nationalities and traditions around dating and marriage — spiritual leaders say the young people they work with come to them with common questions and concerns, including balancing family expectations, wondering how to find love without participating in dating culture and not seeing themselves represented in media.
I was like, I want somebody who I'm friends with and I like them. For years, she and Shaw, whose family is originally from Guyana, were just friends, texting on occasion and seeing each other every week at karate class.
She grew up watching American TV shows and movies that made it seem like dating in high school and college was the standard. For those who find meeting in person to be a struggle, apps like Minder and Muzmatch seek to connect Muslim Americans with similar interests and relationship priorities. The smell of tandoori chicken, a flash of red fabric and hands adorned with henna all al one thing for Desi couples across the world: wedding season. For one couple, who asked for their names not to be used out of privacy, it was big.
This moment had been on the back of their minds since they were freshmen in college, so they had to get it right. So that definitely impacted my ideal of romance from an early age. The couple met during their undergrad years at a school on the East Coast and got to know each other through freshman orientation events and their Muslim students association. She was practical and hesitant about falling in love so young.
Growing up, she said, American chick flicks influenced her image of what dating and marriage were supposed to look like.
He grew up on the West Coast with parents who had already been in the U. During college, the two grew close along with their group of friends. But after graduation, work took them in two different directions until they reconnected a few years ago.
Their wedding day at their mosque passed in a blur. Family and friends bustled in and out. The couple smiled for photos at a reception with people. At the events with her family, the bride wore a traditional red lehenga, henna and jewelry, and her family played classic Desi wedding games before the ceremony.
On the West Coast with his family, she wore a white dress, he wore a tux and they celebrated on a golf course. But the best part came when the noise died down and the two of them could just be together. Covid made Mokhtar's experience a little different. There were no crowds or dancing, just her and Shaw and their closest loved ones.
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