Added: Yessica Higuchi - Date: 26.11.2021 18:30 - Views: 43751 - Clicks: 6913
Quarantine during the pandemic has many couples considering living together for the first time. But indefinite lockdown with a partner and little-to-no interaction with outside support systems can be a space where codependency transforms into love addiction. According to The Ranch Treatment Centers, love addiction is a desperate need to find someone to love that's fueled by the irrational fear of being alone or being rejected. According to Dr. Becky Whetstone, a therapist specializing in love addiction, love addicts typically exhibit s of co-dependency on their partner and at times lose touch with reality.
All love addicts fear being abandoned by their partner and left alone.
Whetstone said that even when a love addict is in a relationship with the person they are obsessed with, they are never secure in their trust for the partner. According to Whetstone, avoidant love addicts and obsessive love addicts tend to date each other and exist in a toxic symbiotic relationship. The obsessive pursues the avoidant and the avoidant keeps the obsessive at arm's length. But rather than letting the obsessive go, the avoidant seduces them into the relationship again, and the cycle between continues. While the avoidant's outward behavior makes them seem aloof and uninterested, they are just as love addicted as the obsessive.
When love addiction is portrayed on TV shows like "You" and "Love," it oftentimes takes the form of the obsessive love addict. Love addicts who act out their addiction in obsession will fixate on the person they are addicted to, which can manifest in some dangerous behavior. They can be very dangerous. When someone is love-addicted, all of their self-esteem, feelings of positivity, and even purpose in life lie with the person they are addicted to.
This stems from co-dependency — what Whetstone calls the necessary precursor to love addiction. Co-dependent relationships occur when one person isn't able to be self-sufficient or fend for themselves, becoming partially or entirely reliant on their partner, according to WebMD. While not all co-dependents are love addicts, Whetstone said that all love addicts are co-dependent to an extreme degree.
One of the primary external causes of love addiction, according to Whetstone, is something called "mother hunger" — a desire for an unconditionally-loving mother that was absent in childhood. Love addicts may act on this mother hunger by trying to fill the gap with loving, or becoming addicted to, someone. Because one of the pillars of love addiction is a dependency on your partner, breaking up with a partner can feel impossible, regardless of whether or not the relationship is toxic.
Whetstone said this dependence on a partner can be similar to a drug addict's need for their drug of choice. A person may know their partner is bad for them but they can't stop themselves from coming back. You'll moments where you go 'This heroin is bad for me, it's gonna kill me,' but as soon that craving comes back, it's all over.
You're gonna go do the heroine again," Whetstone said. The desire for their partner's unconditional love is so great that when a love addict is broken away from them, life may feel purposeless and not worth living.
Whetstone said that love addiction relies on a pattern of behavior, so even if love addicts break up with the person they were initially addicted to, they typically move on very quickly to their next partner. World globe An icon of the world globe, indicating different international options. Get the Insider App. A leading-edge research firm focused on digital transformation. Love addiction is a desperate need to find someone to love that's fueled by the irrational fear of being alone or being rejected. Love addicts typically exhibit s of co-dependency on their partner and at times lose touch with reality.
Therapist Becky Whetstone said that love addiction often stems from childhood trauma, especially unhealthy relationships between and their mother.
Here are 7 s you might have an addiction to love, according to Whetstone. Visit Insider's home for more stories. You're always anxious your partner is going to leave you. You can't stop thinking about the other person — to an obsessive degree. Your partner is the only thing that makes you feel good in life.
You have unresolved childhood trauma about your relationship with your mother. You feel like your partner is the only thing worth living for.
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Is It Love or Is It Addiction?